Today I found out that your sweet friend Kogan died last month. You probably don't remember him too well because we became acquainted with his family right after you were diagnosed and you were still just a baby. Meeting Kogan and talking with his parents helped us come to terms with lissencephaly. Kogan was such a handsome, precious little boy! Knowing him gave me and your dad a preview of what you would be like when you were older. It helped us to not feel afraid.
Sandy, your new vision therapist, happened to ask me at school today if we went to Kogan's funeral. It was an abrupt way to hear such sad news. My heart has been heavy all day. Sometimes, when I think about life without you, I feel like I'm being sucked into a black hole of sadness. So I try not to think about the future and just focus on the present. On days like today though, it feels like that black hole is present in our house. I do my best to ignore it, but its presence is so overwhelming it's difficult to ignore.
Tonight I snuggled you to sleep. It felt good to watch you breathe in and out and kiss your rosy cheeks. I'm glad you are still here. I love you!
Love, Mom
Kogan Kilmer 2003-2009
The crown without the conflict.
I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with Kogan's family -- and with yours. {{HUGS}}
ReplyDeleteOh Emily, my heart hurts for you. I was wondering why you were so sad yesterday, now I know. I love you and miss you terribly! Snuggle sweet Hunter for me. xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh sweet Emily. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteThat worry and ache for what the future may hold is unbearable at times. My heart and prayers are with you- and with sweet Kogan's family too.
Em, I am so sorry to hear about Kogan. I am thinking and praying for his family and yours. Love you tons!!
ReplyDeleteJust checking in. Sad news though. Hang tuff, Charlie says "Hi."
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