A little blue today

I need to opine.

Being Hunter's mama is tough stuff some days.

Especially when my support system (i.e. my mother) is on the other side of the globe.

It has been a LONG week.

An acquaintance of mine lost her baby girl a few days ago. I didn't really know Erin and Lily that well but my heart has been tender since I heard the news. I'm hurting for Erin, a mother whose arms are longing for the warmth of her sweet baby.

Every time a special child goes home to our Heavenly Father I'm reminded that my days with Hunter are numbered.

Sometimes I forget. Seriously. I start thinking that I'm just another mom. I look around at some of the women in my midst and marvel at how put together they are, the trips they get to go on, the time they seem to have to pursue their interests, and wonder how they do these things. Grocery shopping or a visit to the treehouse at the mall are major endeavors for us.

That just doesn't seem as epic for anyone else and it baffles me.

But then something happens and I realize that I'm not just a normal mom. "Normal" mothers probably don't worry if they miss a couple weeks of blogging, because most likely a friend's child won't decline and pass away in that time period. Normal moms don't hang out at the suctioning clinic at the hospital or chase around looking for suctioning catheters in their child's size (or have to rinse out suction cups full of the nastiest mucus you've ever seen-I hate that, I really do). Normal moms probably aren't overwhelmed at the prospect of trying to just walk across the street to their church to play basketball with friends because they've never tried to push a wheelchair with one arm and juggle a baby carrier and a crying two year old who (of course) suddenly wants to be held in the other arm.

You get the idea.

It's frustrating when the one person I would feel comforted by being with can't get together because her own sweet boy is seriously ill.

When we first discovered Hunter's condition everyone was so concerned for us. Everyone wanted to help.

It's funny how quickly that wears off. Even though each and every day is still tough people lose interest after the "crisis" is over. I think people start to think you are/should be "over it". You're fine now, it's just your life. They start to think you're just "normal" too.

They aren't privvy to your non-normal moments. Only you are aware of those. You and the Savior.

And the husband, who tries really hard to be understanding.

Thank heavens for that.

I promise not to be depressing next time.